i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
