Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
ttyl tear gas
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
