you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am available for nakedness
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
