i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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