Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
