Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
