doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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