dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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