If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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