Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
