So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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