dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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