New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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