I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
did you just send me my own nude
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
