I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
