Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
