i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
