My first STD was from a foam party
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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