All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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