Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
