Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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