I'm so fucking centered right now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
