Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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