when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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