Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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