see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
