Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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