oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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