you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
