he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
