I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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