sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
