So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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