I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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