He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
