Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
