youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do vagina's smell?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
