Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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