Small penises have feelings too.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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