love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
