Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
