where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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