omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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