Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
