Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
