It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
