i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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