I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I could make wine with my vomit
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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