every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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