Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
