You really coming over, don't trick.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sext me about skeletons
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
