I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
