Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
