Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
