just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
