We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
