I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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