I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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