We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
