Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
