i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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