I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
